In order of degree to which they do so:
1. Stinky cheese
2. Too much garlic
3. Prune juice
4. Purple grape juice
12.7.09
10.7.09
Today
- Got in lots of chat time at work, but still did stuff I wanted to. -Good
- Ate a small dinner which I knew would be filling enough for the rest of the night despite being low in calories. -Good
- Was excited to play with L and then found out I couldn't. -Bad
- Went to a book store. -Good
- Found Guns, Germs, and Steel on CD so I can listen to it on the way to work for $18. -Good
- Got to hang out with my brother and had a lovely time. -Good
- Got groceries. -Good
- Took too big of a risk when backing out from the grocery store parking lot and my car became somewhat amorous with another. -Very Not Good
- The guy came out and I was able to talk to him rather than leaving an extremely awkward note. -Not Bad
- Came home and am now eating more than I need to, but so far am not gorging myself. -Not Very Bad
Tomorrow:
- I have to report to work. -Bad
- I don't have to be there very long and then get to go to a birthday party. -Good
- My brother isn't going to the birthday party and wants to hang out with me but we won't have much time for it. -Bad
- I can probably sleep in a little. -Good
Sunday:
- I do not have to work at all. -Good
- I get to have a movie night with a bunch of girlfriends and get to eat at one of my favorite restaurants. -Good
- I may even have time to hang out with my brother AND husband! -Awesome
5.7.09
Calming Down
I've had an inclination, in the past, to razz on my mom about how she handles things. There are things that she is handling pretty indisputably badly and sometimes I even think I know how I'd do better at them, but I'm realizing a few things.
1. Karma! If I keep this up, I'm going to have the same damn problems.
2. Really? I don't know if my solutions would make things better or just differently bad.
3. It doesn't matter! Half the stupid shit she says is just go get a reaction and mostly she doesn't mean it, though she'll try really hard to come up with anything resembling logic to back it up.
I'm getting to the point where the stupid stuff she says or threatens with doesn't bother me anymore. Either she's having a bad day or she's being passive-aggressive about something. Either way? Not my problem.
1. Karma! If I keep this up, I'm going to have the same damn problems.
2. Really? I don't know if my solutions would make things better or just differently bad.
3. It doesn't matter! Half the stupid shit she says is just go get a reaction and mostly she doesn't mean it, though she'll try really hard to come up with anything resembling logic to back it up.
I'm getting to the point where the stupid stuff she says or threatens with doesn't bother me anymore. Either she's having a bad day or she's being passive-aggressive about something. Either way? Not my problem.
29.6.09
I love my Walgreens check-stand lady. She's always there when I go to Walgreens. Sunday afternoon, Tuesday night, Saturday, you name it. She must either work a lot or work non-standard hours. She's not super shiny-happy and fake. Friendly enough but not overly-friendly. I like that her name tag says the nickname that I secretly feel a little cool for knowing is the name of Mexico's patron saint.
I like when people ask her questions because she treats them like I would someone I've vaguely known for a while—again not too friendly, but friendly enough. I like when we just have a quiet transaction. I don't idealize her, I know she's just another person, but she's real and I like that about her. Plus, she helped me pick out a lip stain today and she was totally spot-on! :)
I like when people ask her questions because she treats them like I would someone I've vaguely known for a while—again not too friendly, but friendly enough. I like when we just have a quiet transaction. I don't idealize her, I know she's just another person, but she's real and I like that about her. Plus, she helped me pick out a lip stain today and she was totally spot-on! :)
28.6.09
My Poor Husband
Oh, there are plenty of reasons for that statement, but especially so lately. I don't know why, but I've been really easily upset lately. Partly I've been working my ass off and getting nearly no sleep as well as nearly no alone time and then when I am alone I feel lonely. It's been fun!
I feel sorry for L, because he's such an easy target. I'm upset and I want to blame it on someone or something, so I get too easily upset by little things he does. And I get needy so I really want him to come through with things and when he shows up even 10 minutes late it makes me feel bad, but then he shows up half an hour late and I feel so hurt. He's been really making an effort and has been on time plenty, but was just late once or twice this last week when I really wanted him not to be. Normally this only bothers me a little (if at all!), but lately it's been really hurting my feelings! (No, I'm not pregnant.)
Today, I've wanted to cry for most of the day. No reason, just feeling like a cry baby. And I've felt a little hurt by L who, to his credit, has only just starting to act like he feels picked on. But I went out and got something taken care of. Bought some stuff I didn't particularly need, but that are part of my regular "stuff I buy every week or so." Spent some time alone, in the sunshine, around other people, but alone. I still felt like crying, but I was starting to feel better. And now, I'm home sitting in front of the computer again, but I'm feeling much better. I actually feel pretty happy.
The fact that I am blogging is proof of that. I love to write, but I've been feeling so emotionally constipated lately that I haven't had it in me to blog. Even when I have a topic and I want to I just can't. But today I can, so whatever this is, maybe it's going away? Maybe just getting two nights in a row with enough sleep has made the difference? Makes me wonder if we'll ever be able to have kids. I can't survive a week (or four?) of not getting enough sleep: what would happen if that went on for several months to a couple years??
I feel sorry for L, because he's such an easy target. I'm upset and I want to blame it on someone or something, so I get too easily upset by little things he does. And I get needy so I really want him to come through with things and when he shows up even 10 minutes late it makes me feel bad, but then he shows up half an hour late and I feel so hurt. He's been really making an effort and has been on time plenty, but was just late once or twice this last week when I really wanted him not to be. Normally this only bothers me a little (if at all!), but lately it's been really hurting my feelings! (No, I'm not pregnant.)
Today, I've wanted to cry for most of the day. No reason, just feeling like a cry baby. And I've felt a little hurt by L who, to his credit, has only just starting to act like he feels picked on. But I went out and got something taken care of. Bought some stuff I didn't particularly need, but that are part of my regular "stuff I buy every week or so." Spent some time alone, in the sunshine, around other people, but alone. I still felt like crying, but I was starting to feel better. And now, I'm home sitting in front of the computer again, but I'm feeling much better. I actually feel pretty happy.
The fact that I am blogging is proof of that. I love to write, but I've been feeling so emotionally constipated lately that I haven't had it in me to blog. Even when I have a topic and I want to I just can't. But today I can, so whatever this is, maybe it's going away? Maybe just getting two nights in a row with enough sleep has made the difference? Makes me wonder if we'll ever be able to have kids. I can't survive a week (or four?) of not getting enough sleep: what would happen if that went on for several months to a couple years??
Weekend Wake Time
This weekend it's been 1pm. Yesterday, I woke up at 9 and then slept in 'til 1pm. I got much less sleep last week than usual, so I felt justified getting some extra sleep yesterday. Today, I got out of bed around 10. I was grumpy and didn't want to do anything or talk to anyone, or blog about anything. I wanted to read a little online and eat some. But mostly I was sleepy. Around 1pm, I felt like I'd finally woken up. . . maybe I should have stayed in bed again this morning. Or maybe I should have gotten some exercise. But mostly, I should have gone to sleep last night when I was tired and before I got that ridiculous sleepy-induced headache. Then I could have slept in until 9 and gotten some extra sleep and still gotten stuff done today.
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